I have been reading a book by Lee Gardenswartz, Jorge Cherbosque and Anita Rowe entitled “Emotional Intelligence for Managing Results in a Diverse World.” I recommend you read this book if you haven’t read it yet! Great insights on discovering yourself, what makes you tick, what’s you biases and hot buttons, how to get a handle of your feelings, how to understand others from different cultures and not pushing our values to theirs, how to have better communication and how to resolve conflicts especially in a diverse cultural settings. I liked the Emotional Intelligence and Diversity Model as well as the Diversity Layer to help understand how different dimension in our lives affects who we are.
In the process, Change is inevitable. I find it useful that when we are confronted by change, we have three A’s as possible courses of action:
1. Alter the Situation and make the it more favourable;
2. Alter our behavior to better cope with the change; and
3. Accept the Change and try to see the positive aspect of the change.
And another useful tool or approach I learn from the book is the 4 Steps for Heart-of-the-Matter Conversations when conflicts arises. The four steps are:
1. Sensory conversation – where we describe the situation or behavior causing the conflict (FACTS)
2. Brain conversation – where we describe our interpretation of the situation or behavior (ASSUMPTIONS)
3. Feeling conversation – where we describe our feelings or reaction to the situation or behavior (EMOTIONS)
4. Soul conversation – where we articulate what we would like or expect as an outcome (EXPECTATIONS).